thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
