Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
