Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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