the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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