Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
