I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
