then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize