You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
