Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
