For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
