I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
