he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
