I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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