I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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