you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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