I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
