weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
