somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
