There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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