Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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