I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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