I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
