Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
