Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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