Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
