the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
