party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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