I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sext me about skeletons
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize