if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
