just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
