The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
