i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
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I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"