Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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  (773): hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her. http://tfl.nu/rlge
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night

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  (978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night http://tfl.nu/ky4c
  Replies (5) Good night (4401) Bad night (820)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.

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  (405): you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend. http://tfl.nu/xacy
  Replies (9) Good night (5627) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons

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  (202): all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons http://tfl.nu/n087
  Replies (15) Good night (6355) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

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  (908): ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library. http://tfl.nu/ghke
  Replies (34) Good night (6959) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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  (619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (3656)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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  (615): is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....? http://tfl.nu/4au4
  Replies (13) Good night (3326) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

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  (740): I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream http://tfl.nu/eta2
  Replies (28) Good night (2640) Bad night (7034)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.

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  (775): you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook. http://tfl.nu/f57q
  Replies (12) Good night (3648) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love

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  (773): We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/dxz2
  Replies (17) Good night (8490) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais

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  (205): decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais http://tfl.nu/hn97
  Replies (9) Good night (2558) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay

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  (559): Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay http://tfl.nu/1b8x
  Replies (9) Good night (851) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.

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  (916): The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino. http://tfl.nu/qmu0
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.

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  (763): I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously. http://tfl.nu/s4km
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights

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  (602): I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights http://tfl.nu/puqx
  Replies (9) Good night (1220) Bad night (334)

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