She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."