Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives