You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then