Just mADE A PArabola og urine
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dating After Heartbreak
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes