the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!