is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am