Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i'm inner monologue high
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
