its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
