You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Too much gin, very little bucket
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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