Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
