i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
