I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
