its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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