i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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