Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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