Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
