BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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