I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
