If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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