we're chasing vodka with high fives
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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