You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
