I feel great
I just peed on a car
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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