If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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