His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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