OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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