shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
