worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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