I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
