she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
