Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
