Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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