Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
