dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
