Non-Jews are for practice
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
