i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
