Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I touched a dick in church today
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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